FGOs

FGOs (Effing Growth Opportunities)

Saw this acronym on a post on one of the blogs I follow - gonna adopt it into my vernacular, I think. It aptly describes the last 10 years of my life. Wait, who am I kidding? It describes the last 41 years of my life~!

Fun with Videos

So, lately I've been playing around aLOT with You tube and google videos. It's amazing the amount of stuff that is out there. I was in one of the discussion forums for one of my online classes and the discussion led me to comment about an old drive-in that used to be located in my hometown. Right away I had to go to YouTube and look for a video of the old drive in concession bumper. I was blown away by all the clips they had related to that. Brought back such fond memories as I was tooting around looking for vids to post to my FB to share with the rest of my peeps.

It's like a whole new style of communication in the digital age, kind of like how early adapters used to use midi files to accentuate our "chat" conversations "way-back-when" lol!

Tell me some of your favorite places to walk down memory lane...

Conversations with myself

Well, there are a few things I'd like to say to a few people that just wouldn't be prudent at this time. So, I'm going to say them to myself.

Here goes:


*You really piss me off when you walk around here like little miss oh I'm so special and you're sweet to everyone but me. Get over it. I hurt your feelings. I said I'm sorry. Pull up your big girl panties and get on with life.

*I really can't figure out where I went wrong. How did you spend all that time with me and still end up thinking and acting the way you do?

*I really miss you and I don't think you put me high enough on your priority list. I feel like I should be more important to you.

*I don't understand why you continue to shut me out. I am the closest living relative they have on earth besides you. It hurts me to the point of crippling me that you won't let me be a part of their lives.

*So I took advantage of you. I was wrong to do that. But just for a moment I wanted to pretend that you hadn't done the same thing to me all those years ago.

*acknowledge me, dammit!

*I no longer have the desire to have a relationship with you. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me...I won't be fooled a third time.

*if I was any lonelier, I'd be a big-haired 80s rock ballad.

Because I need to do this more often

So I keep hearing (reading) all these complaints from posters that they're tired of the twitter affect on FB. They feel that people shouldn't post everything that pops into their head. But spontaneous disclosure is what social media is all about, isn't it? If we only posted an occasional update, that would get boring pretty quickly! On the other hand, there are a few of the "friends" on my wall I've had to block because apparently they DO post EVERY SINGLE THING that crosses their mind.


Now, don't get me wrong, there are occasions when I volley off a slew of posts in a short amount of time. I can see how it would get annoying if I did this consistently, so I am mindful not to get that carried away. And I try to not do it very often!

What I will throw out there is the Uber annoying FB game factor. I adore most of my friends and thank GOD most of them don't bother me with their mafia requests and crop building requests. But I think what really blows my mind is, where do they get the TIME to dedicate to these things? I really don't see the attraction. Wouldn't it be 10X more fun and rewarding to plant ACTUAL food and harvest ACTUAL food and then you could cook it up and eat it with your ACTUAL friends?

Anyhoo, that's what I've got to say about that!

Dissappointment

An actual Rage for a change:

I'm so tired of being the one everyone can count on. Why do I feel the compelling need to always come thru for others when noone feels compelled to be that for me? I have had it with trying to plan and put things together for everyone else, and then when I expect something to go my way, well. See what I get for expecting? Nothing, usually!

That's all I have to say about that!

My biological clock stopped ticking...

I saw this cute movie the other day called TiMer. The premise of the story is that people can go to this electonics company and have a timer implanted on their wrist. The timer will countdown the exact hours, minutes, and seconds until you can expect to meet your soul mate. Only the timer doesn't activate until your souldmate has a timer installed also.

The idea got me thinking, my luck is so awful when it comes to matters of the heart, I'm quite certain if I installed one it would immediately display negative 175,316hours 15 minutes and 18 seconds(20 years)

If you know any decent eligible bachelors, point them my way!

Count your blessings

Yes, well, after all this time, you think I would get it. I've heard this so many times you would think it would be second nature. Yet after I've taken action to correct a wrong done to me I continue to brood over the fact of the initial wrong-doing instead of being satisfied with the ultimate outcome! What's the matter with me?


So tonight I had a conversation with my friend, the psychic. I don't pay for her services, well, just that once, but that was only for fun, mostly. I guess I'm one of those people that doesn't really want to know the future. But I don't play the lotto or read my horoscope of wish to be filthy rich and so on and so on...I digress...

So, we were talking, and as per usual she was asking me how to market her services. Now, I can't help you if you don't really want help. There's nothing more aggravating than someone asking you the same questions, over and over...yet when you say to them, "hey, I told you this last time. Didn't you try it?" and they say no, they didn't try it...what do you do with that?

So during our conversation, she pointed out the same thing she pointed out the last few times we've talked, always unsolicited, that I have this really great energy about me and the only thing preventing me from achieving my goals is my underlying attitude of having been cheated out of something. She called it my "woman scorned, but not just by love" attitude. And I always reply with, "If only you knew."

And I thought to myself, yeah, I've heard this before. And I said as much to her. So my question is this: If knowing you have a problem is half the solution, what the hell is the other half? How do you let that go? How do you release that and move on? Cuz I'll tell you, I've tried, and tried and tried.

As I was pondering this with her, I mentioned that I don't really hold any resentments toward anyone in particular, anymore. I've worked really hard this past year to forgive those who I have held the burden of resentment towards. And while we were having this conversation, I realized, it isn't someone else that I'm bitter with about any of the past grief in my life. It's me.

I realized I am mad at me! I've spent the better part of my adult life feeling duty bound to a bunch of people that never asked me to do that for them. That was my own doing! Nobody forced me to put myself last. There is no written law that says I had to put everyone else first and sacrifice my own satisfaction. As a matter of fact, the very people I felt honor-bound to please and take care of were mostly selfish people that never took my feelings into account in there decisions and actions. So why did I feel the need to do so? It's mostly me that I'm angry with! How could I have flittered away so many years?

Hmmmm, this is going to take some serious meditation and prayer.

How to forgive oneself.

Suggestions appreciated...