Rapidly Having Fun

If you're my friend on Facebook, you should be able to see this photo album...if not, I'll try to post some of these shots here. Needless to say, we had a spectacular time! Just wish I hadn't waited til I was in my 40s to try this!

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2284851240365.140694.1221401296&l=44e350b002

(okay, I've apparently forgotten how to post links to my blog and blogger isn't helping me much. Anyone with hints, please post in the comments)

A Few of My Favorite Rants

I'm tired of Comcast boasting record breaking speeds, yet my streaming video gets disrupted a bazillion times.

I'm tired of my kid telling me he didn't mess anything up, yet after he stayed at my townhouse for a sum total of 14 hours my wireless router no longer recognizes my Internet connection.

I'm tired of my laptop screen going black for no reason.

I'm tired of people who feel the need to espouse useless information that isn't even accurate, when nobody asked them in the first place.

I'm tired of everyone having an opinion on everything! Sometimes people say stuff just because they want to get it off their chest. Or maybe they are hoping to find a sympathetic ear. They sure as hell didn't offer up their gripe so you can consistently tell them why they are an ASSHOLE!

So, three glasses of wine have apparently had no effect on my temperament tonight and I have to be up early in the morning.

Goodnight cruel world. You get this one. Let's see who emerges victorious tomorrow!

Conversations with myself

Well, there are a few things I'd like to say to a few people that just wouldn't be prudent at this time. So, I'm going to say them to myself.

Here goes:


*You really piss me off when you walk around here like little miss oh I'm so special and you're sweet to everyone but me. Get over it. I hurt your feelings. I said I'm sorry. Pull up your big girl panties and get on with life.

*I really can't figure out where I went wrong. How did you spend all that time with me and still end up thinking and acting the way you do?

*I really miss you and I don't think you put me high enough on your priority list. I feel like I should be more important to you.

*I don't understand why you continue to shut me out. I am the closest living relative they have on earth besides you. It hurts me to the point of crippling me that you won't let me be a part of their lives.

*So I took advantage of you. I was wrong to do that. But just for a moment I wanted to pretend that you hadn't done the same thing to me all those years ago.

*acknowledge me, dammit!

*I no longer have the desire to have a relationship with you. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me...I won't be fooled a third time.

*if I was any lonelier, I'd be a big-haired 80s rock ballad.

New Year, New Decade, New Outlook

So 2010 is looking an awful lot like 2009. And let's all agree that 2009 was just awful!

So what can be done about it?

I wake up every day and think to myself...self, this is the day we are going to be wowed by humanity and our faith will be restored! And sadly, every night I put my head on the pillow and pray, "Please God, let me say good bye to today and may tomorrow be better."

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't experience blessings every day. Some small, some subtle, some may go unnoticed and for that I am truly sorry.

But really, folks...How much yuck is one person supposed to take?

Well, at least now I am back in school. That should keep me busy enough to keep my mind off of the rest of the yuck.

Soon I will be moving out of my home...and I still haven't decided what to do about that. I have options, which is a blessing many folks don't have. And I am very appreciative of that, even if I don't always express that.

I suppose I need to get around to finishing up the packing. I've been cracking at it a little at a time. I suppose the procrastination is my way of avoiding the inevitable. I know it won't work, but hey, I'm human.

Well, it's late and I have an early morning meeting.

I leave with this prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, please look after my children. Guide their actions and decisions along a path that will find them safe and protect them with Your Holy Spirit. Give them the strength to face the challenges of each new day. Help them to see Your ways. Protect my friends and family and co-workers. Give peace to those who are troubled. Heal those that are sick. And may we all delight in your will and walk in your ways. Amen

I <3 Sex Education

I was driving home today when I happened upon a couple of guys walking toward me from the other side of the road. I could tell one of them had some kind of something bundled in the crook of his left arm. As I pulled up to the stop light, he noticed me looking and immediately changed his posture and adjusted the bundle. I could see then that he was carrying a baby simulator, one of the most inventive, yet statistically non-productive, teaching tools of the 20th century.

He must have thought I was someone he knew because right away, he corrected his hand positions and began to cradle the baby's head with one hand, while supporting the baby's bottom with his other. I smiled and giggled and when he realized he didn't know me at all, he blushed and relaxed his hold on the little joy. His buddy punched him in the arm and I could hear them berating each other with terms of endearment known to parents of teenage boys nation wide!

Oh, the websites spout research and statistics touting their substantive evidence that real life experience is proven to be effective in teaching kids about the reality of raising children. But when you think about it, in my generation we only had the menstruation video and we didn't have pregnancy pacts back then!

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=5215182&page=1

While I don't advocate abstinence only policies, I do think it is important for children to be made aware of the consequences of their actions. I think the best thing we can do as parents is to raise our children to have the self confidence and self value to know they will make good decisions.

In the mean time, I think the humiliation these boys endures, while ineffective, sure is entertaining!

“If God loves everyone, why are there different religions?”

I read this on Tom Foreman's blog of letters to President Obama. The question came from his daughter after she was excluded from a group of kids at school because of her religion. This was his answer. I think it is beautiful in it's simplicity. It captures how so many of us feel:

“I think there are different religions,” I told her, “because adults, like children, disagree on things, and sometimes we focus more on those disagreements than on what we have in common. Imagine there was a girl named Katherine. She has a friend at school who calls her that. At dance class, another friend calls her Kathy. And at soccer, a third friend calls her Kate. One day all three of these friends meet, but they do not know they are acquainted with the same girl. One says, ‘My friend Katherine is the nicest girl ever.’ Another says, ‘You are wrong. My friend Kathy is better.’ And the third says, ‘Nonsense, my friend Kate is better than either of your friends.’ I think that is how it is with God. I think we are all praying to the same being, but we use different names and forget that God is big enough to love us all.”

from: http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2009/04/12/dear-president-obama-83-ten-things-what-if-god/#more-34300

Dear God, Please help the world to see You for the loving God that You are and to embrace one another as brothers and sisters in that love. Amen.

The Virginity Lie

“The lie of virginity — the idea that such a thing even exists — is ensuring that young women’s perception of themselves is inextricable from their bodies, and that their ability to be moral actors is absolutely dependent on their sexuality. It’s time to teach our daughters that their ability to be good people depends on their being good people, not on whether or not they’re sexually active. “

…

“Whether it’s delivered through a virginity pledge or by a barely dressed tween pop singer writhing across the television screen, the message is the same: A woman’s worth lies in her ability — or her refusal — to be sexual. And we’re teaching American girls that, one way or another, their bodies and their sexuality are what make them valuable. The sexual double standard is alive and well, and it’s irrevocably damaging young women. “

Reposted from http://thoseareturkeys.tumblr.com/

F*** My Life

Today, I was turned down for the China job because I selfishly chose to raise my child with no support from his father or the government and worked my behind off financing really expensive christian education for said child instead of spending the money on finishing my education. My child is graduating this May with a 1.5 GPA. Since I lost my job, I won't be able to pay for his college either. FML

More on why being 17 sucks

If only there were a bank where you could open up an account for your children and bank some of the lessons you learn from your mistakes. Then you could give your teenager an ATM card of sorts so that they could make withdrawals and there by avoid the traumas and still get the value of the lessons...

Or maybe you could buy bonds of some sort that they could "cash in" when they get in trouble.

Just say no to neck suckers, babe...

Absent Fathers

I am getting so sick of all the talk and debate and studies about how kids are more likely to grow up to be successful if they are being raised in home where the father is present vs being raised by a single mom.

At no time in these discussions/debates/studies do they address a. the quality of the parenting or 2. the desire of the child to succeed.

These are two VERY important factors in formulating a child's chance for success in life.

I don't think a child is going to benefit in a home where the father is a drunk, or a workaholic, or a cold, withholding bastard! And the same stands for single moms.

This morning on NPR they went on and on ad nauseum about how Barrack (famously) dreamt of his father. Okay, can we just say for the record, Barrack is THE perfect example of just how frikken successful a child can be when raised without a father in the home? And he's mixed race! We can crush two stigmas with one White House!

Puuuuleeeease! There are more than a few people out there that I am more than certain have benefited from not knowing their fathers!

I by no means set out to be a single mom. I'm sure there were times when my son could have benefited from having a man around. But that wasn't going to be just any man. As it happens, I never found a suitable partner. For what it's worth, most of the men in my young life weren't worth the testosterone they were full of, among other things!

It's quality over quantity when it comes to the ideal # of parents required to raise a child properly. And I will still come right back and point out to you all of the highly dysfunctional adults I know who grew up in "ideal" homes with a present, participating father and (oh, shock!) a stay at home mom...this is not the "winning formula" most people ascribe to. I think our world has changed, and with it the family unit. I think rather that lamenting about how we've gone wrong, lets embrace the "it takes a village" precept and start looking around our community for opportunities to help make every child's circumstances better.

Be a mentor, a foster parent, a foster-grand parent, or a friend. If you know a single mom, see if there is any thing you can do to help her give her children the most rounded childhood possible. Volunteer you help kids with homework, or coach a little league team. Children who have strong role models and adults they can turn to when they need advice are more likely to grow up to be successful.

Don't sit and judge just because someone constructed their family "out of order". Get with the times, there is no order!

Why being 17 sucks

1. you know EVERYTHING and nobody recognizes your superior knowledge

2. you're parents disrespect you and your friends with everything they say and everything they do and everything they don't say and everything they don't do, and then get pissed when you dish it back at them

3. your divine birthright to your parents every possession is not properly recognized by said parents

4. although you have the antithesis of an "ATTITUDE" you are continually accused of such and then your parents have the audacity to ground you until you get rid of same unpossessed "ATTITUDE"

5. you are perfectly capable of making life-altering decisions yet your parents insist on giving you a curfew!

Oh, how I wax nostalgic for those days of my youth! (NOT!)

On Potential vs. Performance

On Potential vs. Performance

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but my son is incredibly bright. I think he is worlds above me in intellect and intelligence. He started kindergarten at age 4 and already met the maximum requirements upon arrival. In first grade they recommended him for the accelerated program and put him in 3rd grade level reading and math. By second grade he was beginning to have social problems because he was so far ahead of his peers that he spent most of his days suffering sheer boredom.
That’s when I finally took the opportunity to home school. Now, I know all the arguments for and against home schooling, but rest assured, I made an educated decision. In the Roseville Public School system, they won’t move students to the gifted program until 4th grade. As my son had spent the majority of his 2nd grade year sitting at a desk in front of the principal’s office, I decided it would be better fro him to NOT learn anything at home, in a loving environment, than to NOT learn anything at school, sitting in a hallway, isolated and alone.

So, during the course of the 6 years that I home schooled my son, he advanced through the basic materials: reading, writing, and math, as well as several other subjects such as: Bible Studies, science, and logic. By the time he would have been in 7th grade, we were working out of college level books. He had difficulty with following through, as I believe he may have a mild form of A.D.D., but I never put pressure on him to work fast, as I felt that mastering the subject matter was significantly more important than finishing it in a timely manner.

Then half way through that 7th grade year, I got a day job. This would not have been a problem for most students, but recall the A.D.D. issue. He couldn’t finish anything unless I was practically sitting on his lap. He spent that half of year slipping into an abyss. I knew I would have to put him into a school, there was no suitable alternative. I tried to leave him with his Grama during the day, but she wasn’t terribly diligent at enforcing the curriculum.

After much research and many tours and interviews, we settled on a Christian school not too far from our town. Upon arrival, I informed each of his instructors that he had been home schooled, and that they should let me know if he seemed to be having any difficulty integrating into the schedule. By the time I showed up for conferences 8 weeks later, most of the teachers had entirely forgotten that I had mentioned he was home schooled. He assimilated very well into the social framework of his class and was able to contribute in his classes very well. I was applauded and congratulated for successfully socializing him in the absence of formal schooling.

He did very well as far as grades go. However, his regulated test scores were never more than average. He was never very good at taking tests; the pressure always upset his constitution. In the beginning of 9th grade, a friend asked permission to buy my son an X-Box for Christmas. I agreed under the condition that he maintains Bs or above. He got his semester report card 5 days before Christmas and he had 4 A’s and 2 B’s. He got his X-Box.

Then he fell in love with a girl, and all bets were off. His grades declined. His attention declined. He became very distant and moody. I became public enemy numeral uno. This went on for the next year and a half. It wasn’t until his unsuccessful courtship of this last girl that he finally snapped out of his distaste for me. We are slowly becoming friends again. He is starting to show signed of maturity. He is starting to make better decisions and looking forward toward a future and has decided that he DOES want to go to college and that maybe he should start doing something about it. He even joined the track team and intends to join the soccer team in the fall.

Now fast forward to last week. I got his 3rd marking period report card for 11th grade. There were 2 F’s and a D- on it. I was so desperate, I grounded him from everything. I took away his cell phone, his iPod and the keyboard to the computer. He isn’t allowed to take my car anywhere and he isn’t allowed to participate in any social functions save school athletic meets and games. I put my foot down. I told him that until he starts performing to his abilities, I’m not providing anything more than food, clothing, and shelter for him.

So, then the ACT scores come in. The national average is 21. The state average is 23. The kid with more F’s in the last two years than a Dutch phone book scored a 25. A 25!!! His closest chums that score straight A’s all got 27s and 28. He scored a 25 without even blinking! And he got very upset with me because I didn’t’ jump up and down and exclaim how utterly proud I am of him. I already knew he was brilliant; the score did not surprise me. I think it did surprise him, though. I think maybe all these years he didn’t really believe me that he was brilliant. Now maybe he will buckle down and get it together.

A mother can only hope!