Stupid is as stupid does

How Crazy Is That?

This is how ridiculously outrageous our society's sense of beauty has impacted practically logical people: After years of battling with weight issues, at one time getting up to a whopping size 22, I am sitting here in my size 12 jeans thinking to myself, yeesh, I feel fat. 

How Crazy Is That?

I am in the same size Marilyn Monroe wore. I am voluptuous, sexy, proportioned, and even better than all of those things, I'm fit, healthy, and hearty. 

So why am I sitting here bemoaning the "spare tire" I see sitting above my waistband? Stupid magazines and TV shows. Stupid Barbie Dolls and teen idols. The worst part is, I've never had body issues. I've always been comfortable in the skin I'm in. And yet...here I am, feeling all bloated, and guilt-ridden for eating an entire bag of Cheddar Jalapenos Cheetos. 

So, I will drink this entire glass of wine, finish my Cheetos, and go do a handful of crunches. Hopefully that will assuage my guilty conscience. 

Movie Review - Long Overdue

I'm not sure what this next semester holds for me...but I'm going to try really hard to post more frequently.

So here's the first movie review of the year - stay tuned for more:

Love and Other Drugs

Maggie has Parkinson's and Jamie is a philandering ne'er-do-well. Somehow the two of them make it work. All thru the movie I kept waiting for the words, "you...complete me". So, at it's worst it was formulaic and predictable. At it's best, it was some steamy hot sexy love story. In the middle it was the story of a boy who never really thought much of himself meeting a girl that had written herself off. Together they made a pretty good pair.

My favorite scene -


Him: I never actually knew anyone, who believed I was enough, til I met you. And then you made me believe it too. So, uh, unfortunately, I need you. And you need me.
Her: no I don't
Him: yes you do
Her: no I don't
Him: yes, you do
Her: stop it! Stop saying that
Him: you need someone to take care of you
Her: no I don't
Him: Everybody does
Her: I'm going to need you, more than you'll need me
Him: that's okay
Her: no it's not! It isn't fair. I have places to go
Him: You'll go there. I just may have to carry you
Her: I can't ask you to do that
Him: you didn't

Even though I kept envisioning him and Heath on that mountaintop - I still give this one 4 out of 5 rages

A Few of My Favorite Rants

I'm tired of Comcast boasting record breaking speeds, yet my streaming video gets disrupted a bazillion times.

I'm tired of my kid telling me he didn't mess anything up, yet after he stayed at my townhouse for a sum total of 14 hours my wireless router no longer recognizes my Internet connection.

I'm tired of my laptop screen going black for no reason.

I'm tired of people who feel the need to espouse useless information that isn't even accurate, when nobody asked them in the first place.

I'm tired of everyone having an opinion on everything! Sometimes people say stuff just because they want to get it off their chest. Or maybe they are hoping to find a sympathetic ear. They sure as hell didn't offer up their gripe so you can consistently tell them why they are an ASSHOLE!

So, three glasses of wine have apparently had no effect on my temperament tonight and I have to be up early in the morning.

Goodnight cruel world. You get this one. Let's see who emerges victorious tomorrow!

Chick Lit

I'm not sure if it's my age, my marital status, my employment status or what, but I've really been getting into Chick Lit lately. I am especially fond of UK Chick Lit. Something about a bunch of girls sitting around all day smoking fags, eating biscuits and calling all their old boyfriends WANKERS really appeals to me!

If you read any good chick lit, let me know - I'd appreciate the info. I've got a list of requests in to my library for the Jen Lancaster set. Looking forward to attending her book signing in Birmingham. Check out her website if you get a chance:

http://www.jennsylvania.com/

I have the BESTEST friends in the whole wide world!

A very good friend called the other night and said she had something she was sending me in the mail that would be VERY useful for when I go on job interviews. Knowing this friend it could be just about anything, I mean really, she is WAY out there. But considering the seriousness of my current economic and employment position, I assumed she'd send me some handy "list of things not to forget when going on an interview" or some book on "interview tips for dummies" or something of that nature.

So when I opened up the package and found the t-shirt pictured above, I thought, "You know what they say about ASS-uming!" And then I proceeded to have a 15 minute fit of hard, rib bruising, tears-streaming-down-my-face, hysterical laughter.

Better than 1, you MADE MY DECADE!!!!

I LOVE my friends!

there is no more, I just forgot to remove the HTML! psych!

OMG!

Only the first minute or two are funny, after that it degenerates...

My New Favorite Author

Okay, I admit it. Since finding out I am no longer employed, I have made it my mission to waste as much time at work on the Internet as I can. As a matter of principle, I am determined not to do anything even remotely responsible if I can help it. (alright, AMB, stop laughing. Yes, I am still doing most of my work, but I'm not doing it enthusiastically, juste ainsi vous savez !)

So one of the things I've been endeavoring to do is read more magazines and blogs. My current blog list is now longer than the rest of my favorites combined. So when I stumbled upon this article in Costco Connection magazine, I had to look this woman up! I swear she is speaking my language. And I didn't even realize I HAD a language until I recognized it pouring out of her blog posts!

But don't take my word for it, check her out at http://www.jennsylvania.com/

Oh, and click the image above to read the article.

I'm thinking of starting my own Jen Lancaster fan club/book club. Let me know if you are interested...