So here I am, in a store that is in disarray, full of hordes of other shoppers, and I can't find my glasses so I'm just wandering trying to find anything that looks like a tarot deck. My eye catches this lovely teal colored box, with a panda dancing on a rainbow, and I grab it and run to the cashier station.
Story for another time, I am chagrined to see that they no longer have actual cashiers, the entire operation is now self checkout with 1 clerk supervising the shoppers. I ring up and pay for my deck and beat feet out of there.
Upon arriving home, I retrieve a spare pair of glasses and examine my treasure. What a lovely deck full of beautifully written affirmations!
I like to offer all of my guests the opportunity to draw a card. So far, every guest has pulled a card that is oh, so relative to whatever they are managing or manifesting at that time! My son and I usually draw a daily card just to set our compasses each day. I have also gotten into the habit of having my yoga students draw a card and use that to set intentions/lessons for the class.
"Today I will not be critical," says this morning's card. It follows with, "Today I will not be critical of my appearance or actions. I am perfect the way I am."
Boy, that is NOT where I thought that card was going to go. I assumed, upon reading that title line, that it was going to be a message about not judging others. What a reminder that criticism of others is an extension of a deep dissatisfaction with our own selves.
How often do you hear your inner voice making harsh judgements about yourself? I often catch myself saying very demeaning things about myself. Most of these painful thoughts and ideas were planted there by others, as hurt people often hurt people. But when we are not being the best versions of ourselves, it is easy to believe and internalize these weaponized words.
I was just watching Pretty Woman the other day and there's a line where Vivian tells Edward, "the bad stuff is easier to believe." I recalled hearing many of my superiors using the old military standard, "One 'Oh Shit!' can erase a thousand 'At-a-Boys'." Now, the math may be off by several hundreds, but the sentiment is real. The samskaras produced by negative encounters/outcomes seem to be so much stronger and more deeply entrenched than the positive encounters/outcomes. It takes a disciplined practice for most of us to counteract that negative track in our inner voice.
Practicing compassion for yourself and others can help to reverse this affect on your psyche. One of the easiest and hardest practices for cultivating compassion is the Loving Kindness, or Metta, meditation. There are many formats for this meditation, but the basic premise is to think of yourself and then those you encounter on a regular basis in a loving way, especially those with whom you've had negative encounters/outcomes. Here is the version I practice most often:
First, find a quiet space where you will be undisturbed for about 5 - 10 minutes. You may choose to sit on the floor, a meditation pillow, a sofa or any place where you can get comfortable and sit up with healthy posture. If you struggle with sitting up on your own, find a spot where you can gently lean on support, like a wall or a headboard. Set an intention that your meditation will help you cultivate compassion. You may choose to close your eyes, or light a candle and focus on the flame.
1. Start by focusing on yourself. I like to picture myself sitting in front of me, facing me. I usually focus on my other self's third eye, the space between the brows. Then I picture myself drawing in love with each in breath, and exhaling loving kindness, surrounding my other self with that energy. Once I have surrounded myself with loving kindness and saying to myself,
"May I be safe, May I be healthy, May I be surrounded by love, May I live in peace."
2. Next I focus on my beloved. This can be anyone with whom you share an intimate closeness; your partner, your spouse, your lover, your best friend. Again, I like to picture them sitting in front of me and I begin with drawing in love, and sending that love out to surround them. Now say to them,
"May you be safe, May you be healthy, May you be surrounded by love, May you live in peace."
3. Next I think of my teacher, or teachers. Those individuals who have had a significant impact on raising my level of awareness and increasing my knowledge of myself and the world around me. My light bringers. Picturing my guides sitting in front of me and drawing and giving love/loving kindness I say to them,
"May you be safe, May you be healthy, May you be surrounded by love, May you live in peace."
4. After that, I think of someone with whom I have an acquaintance. Someone who I know a little about, but don't have an intimate friendship with. This person could be your letter carrier, an attendant, a receptionist, or even the cashier at your daily coffee spot. Beginning with the receiving and sending of love/loving kindness and then saying to them,
"May you be safe, May you be healthy, May you be surrounded by love, May you live in peace."
5. The next person to give love/loving kindness to is often the most difficult, but is, in my opinion, the most important, someone with whom you've had a negative experience/outcome. Picture this person who has caused you pain in the past. It could be something that recently happened, or something that you haven't been able to move on from. Take extra care to draw in enough love so that you pour from the overflow and not from your own resources, as you don't want to give away your energy, just a sharing of it. This is important with people that have hurt us, as we may have been in a relationship where we were constantly giving away our power. Once you have established your heart in love, send that love to this person or persons. Then repeat,
"May you be safe, May you be healthy, May you be surrounded by love, May you live in peace."
6. Finally, bring the circle back to you, always wrapping the loop back in to complete your work. Picture yourself, now beaming with love from sending all this loving kindness out into the world. Do your drawing and sending to your enlightened/glowing self and repeat as in the beginning,
"May I be safe, May I be healthy, May I be surrounded by love, May I live in peace."
Practice this meditation as often as you can. Especially any time you notice your inner dialogue getting a little dark.
May you be safe,
May you be healthy,
May you be surrounded by love,
May you live in peace.
Namaste!
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