Conversations with myself

Well, there are a few things I'd like to say to a few people that just wouldn't be prudent at this time. So, I'm going to say them to myself.

Here goes:


*You really piss me off when you walk around here like little miss oh I'm so special and you're sweet to everyone but me. Get over it. I hurt your feelings. I said I'm sorry. Pull up your big girl panties and get on with life.

*I really can't figure out where I went wrong. How did you spend all that time with me and still end up thinking and acting the way you do?

*I really miss you and I don't think you put me high enough on your priority list. I feel like I should be more important to you.

*I don't understand why you continue to shut me out. I am the closest living relative they have on earth besides you. It hurts me to the point of crippling me that you won't let me be a part of their lives.

*So I took advantage of you. I was wrong to do that. But just for a moment I wanted to pretend that you hadn't done the same thing to me all those years ago.

*acknowledge me, dammit!

*I no longer have the desire to have a relationship with you. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me...I won't be fooled a third time.

*if I was any lonelier, I'd be a big-haired 80s rock ballad.

Because I need to do this more often

So I keep hearing (reading) all these complaints from posters that they're tired of the twitter affect on FB. They feel that people shouldn't post everything that pops into their head. But spontaneous disclosure is what social media is all about, isn't it? If we only posted an occasional update, that would get boring pretty quickly! On the other hand, there are a few of the "friends" on my wall I've had to block because apparently they DO post EVERY SINGLE THING that crosses their mind.


Now, don't get me wrong, there are occasions when I volley off a slew of posts in a short amount of time. I can see how it would get annoying if I did this consistently, so I am mindful not to get that carried away. And I try to not do it very often!

What I will throw out there is the Uber annoying FB game factor. I adore most of my friends and thank GOD most of them don't bother me with their mafia requests and crop building requests. But I think what really blows my mind is, where do they get the TIME to dedicate to these things? I really don't see the attraction. Wouldn't it be 10X more fun and rewarding to plant ACTUAL food and harvest ACTUAL food and then you could cook it up and eat it with your ACTUAL friends?

Anyhoo, that's what I've got to say about that!

New Year, New Decade, New Outlook

So 2010 is looking an awful lot like 2009. And let's all agree that 2009 was just awful!

So what can be done about it?

I wake up every day and think to myself...self, this is the day we are going to be wowed by humanity and our faith will be restored! And sadly, every night I put my head on the pillow and pray, "Please God, let me say good bye to today and may tomorrow be better."

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't experience blessings every day. Some small, some subtle, some may go unnoticed and for that I am truly sorry.

But really, folks...How much yuck is one person supposed to take?

Well, at least now I am back in school. That should keep me busy enough to keep my mind off of the rest of the yuck.

Soon I will be moving out of my home...and I still haven't decided what to do about that. I have options, which is a blessing many folks don't have. And I am very appreciative of that, even if I don't always express that.

I suppose I need to get around to finishing up the packing. I've been cracking at it a little at a time. I suppose the procrastination is my way of avoiding the inevitable. I know it won't work, but hey, I'm human.

Well, it's late and I have an early morning meeting.

I leave with this prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, please look after my children. Guide their actions and decisions along a path that will find them safe and protect them with Your Holy Spirit. Give them the strength to face the challenges of each new day. Help them to see Your ways. Protect my friends and family and co-workers. Give peace to those who are troubled. Heal those that are sick. And may we all delight in your will and walk in your ways. Amen

some much needed R & R

So I'm off of school for a few weeks and as of Wed will be off of work for a week and a half and next week my super awesome uncle is flying me to Vegas for New Years Eve. I am so looking forward to this. I feel like I have lost so much this year, I think I really really deserve some fun time.

Let's review:



I lost the job that told me who I was. I am in the process of losing my house. I lost my sister to Cancer, (but at least was able to reconcile with here first) but in the process, lost my family to petty BS. My 18 year old has decided he doesn't want to play by the rules anymore so I am losing him.

It's been a sucky ass year for me!

But here are the things I am thankful for (with caveats):

I got my sister back, if only for a brief moment in time (see above)
I got my bestest cousin back after 30 years (and I'm so glad to find out she's just as crazy/wonderful as me!)
I have my health (although this kick class is making me feel my age some days!)
I learned how to fall in love again (even if it was fleeting)
I have a wonderfully loving BFF who supports the hell out of me, even when I'm an asshole (even though she's a really bad influence on me and plies me with wine right before kick class!)
My BFFs children love the hell out of me, even when I tell them I have nothing for them for Xmas (and then I took them to see a movie instead, with pop and popcorn!)
I have wonderful friends who are more precious to me than any family member ever tried to be. (and I'm so glad they are all crazy/wonderful like me!)
I have two wonderfully fantastic friends who were friends of my mom's who have done more for me than they will ever know. (I feel like they have helped me get to know the woman that she was since I lost her before we got that far)
My crappy job has some fantastic perks (Pistons Suits, after hours events with drinking, hob-knobbing with impotant peeps)
The crazy Canadian Governor with the really big facial mole is paying for me to get an education so I can finally get the recognition for the skill levels I have. (even though I will never be able to find a good paying job once I get said degree!)
I was paid by DuPont long enough to have the money to buy a new car when my van finally crapped out on me. (I miss the van, but I love my little clown car!)
And last but definitely not least, I am loved by God. (though why I sometimes can't understand!)

So for now I'll cry in my wine and maybe spend a few days in bed, and then when I'm over that, I'll pack my bags and go to Vegas, where maybe I'll find a husband! Stranger things have happened!

Peace be to you during this crazy, frantic, mixed up time of the year that is supposed to be about the Savior and NOT about the savings!

Chick Lit

I'm not sure if it's my age, my marital status, my employment status or what, but I've really been getting into Chick Lit lately. I am especially fond of UK Chick Lit. Something about a bunch of girls sitting around all day smoking fags, eating biscuits and calling all their old boyfriends WANKERS really appeals to me!

If you read any good chick lit, let me know - I'd appreciate the info. I've got a list of requests in to my library for the Jen Lancaster set. Looking forward to attending her book signing in Birmingham. Check out her website if you get a chance:

http://www.jennsylvania.com/

RISK FREE TRIAL

This morning Nellie stops me in the cafeteria and asks how I am doing. Now, this is like asking the widow at a funeral home how SHE is doing. We know it's a stupid question. We know the answer before we ask it, and yet we can't help ourselves, can we?

So, I reply that I am doing as well as can be expected. I'm not going to lie to her, but I'm not going to lay it all on her, either. She was really only trying to be polite. It's not like we're pals or anything.

So then I tell her about China and Darfur and all of that. She tells me I must have a lot of courage to be contemplating such assignments. I don't really feel courageous, I just feel like I have the skills needed and nothing to keep me from it, so...

Then she pulls me closer and in hushed tones says, "Maybe you would know how to help me!"

I'm intrigued. So I ask her to elaborate.

She then tells me that she got into some trouble. See, what happened is, she was on the interwebs interwebbing, and she saw this advert for a risk free trial of Acai Berry. It was just $10 for the shipping and handling, so she decided to try it. Five months later, she noticed that she was being charge $79/month for the stuff.

**First of all, friends and family, do yourselves a flavor and check your dang statements EVERY month. Scrutinize those puppies! Every day there are stories in the news about identity theft. With all the technology available, you should be checking this stuff online every few days. You should be able to identify unrequested charges immediately and report them to your banks and/or credit card companies immediately!**

It took her several attempts to cancel, she was either kept on hold for long periods of time or couldn't get thru the links on the Internet web-site.

Finally, she was able to cancel her subscription for the product, but now she wants to know how she can get her money back?

Let me tell you what Ms. Sally always told me,

"If it seems to good to be true, it probably is."

and

"There's no such thing as a free lunch!"


There's this thing called GOOGLE. Learn how to use it and save yourself much heartache and many $$$

There are over 130,000 possible matches on Google for "acai berry risk free trial" and 32,500 for "acai berry risk free trial scam"

Page after page of consumer complaints. There's even an account about how even if you cancel out of the risk free trial order form without ordering, they will track you down and hound you for an order.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU INTERWEB!!!

Public Tinkle Tip Of The Day

Now that I am spending all my free time borrowing interwebs from Wi-Fi hot spots, I'm learning a thing or two bout public pottying. Maybe you savvy public pee-ers already knew these things, but being an orphan, I can only say that I have had to learn these things on my own.

So here's today's tip: (Not for the feint of heart - You've been warned!)


Make sure you take your toilet paper before you pull your pants down and assume the position. It makes all the difference when your old, out of shape, thighs begin to wobble from the strain, and then you discover the roller is just slightly out of reach, and as you lean over you realize you're gonna "dribble" on your trousers...lol

Plus, this way you will find out before you hang yourself out there, whether there is any paper in the stall!

Just looking out for my BFFs and peeps!

For my friend

When you get to work on March 3rd and you can't IM me yet cuz I'm still sleeping, just remember:

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together...there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart...I’ll always be with you. ”
— Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne