On Potential vs. Performance

On Potential vs. Performance

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but my son is incredibly bright. I think he is worlds above me in intellect and intelligence. He started kindergarten at age 4 and already met the maximum requirements upon arrival. In first grade they recommended him for the accelerated program and put him in 3rd grade level reading and math. By second grade he was beginning to have social problems because he was so far ahead of his peers that he spent most of his days suffering sheer boredom.
That’s when I finally took the opportunity to home school. Now, I know all the arguments for and against home schooling, but rest assured, I made an educated decision. In the Roseville Public School system, they won’t move students to the gifted program until 4th grade. As my son had spent the majority of his 2nd grade year sitting at a desk in front of the principal’s office, I decided it would be better fro him to NOT learn anything at home, in a loving environment, than to NOT learn anything at school, sitting in a hallway, isolated and alone.

So, during the course of the 6 years that I home schooled my son, he advanced through the basic materials: reading, writing, and math, as well as several other subjects such as: Bible Studies, science, and logic. By the time he would have been in 7th grade, we were working out of college level books. He had difficulty with following through, as I believe he may have a mild form of A.D.D., but I never put pressure on him to work fast, as I felt that mastering the subject matter was significantly more important than finishing it in a timely manner.

Then half way through that 7th grade year, I got a day job. This would not have been a problem for most students, but recall the A.D.D. issue. He couldn’t finish anything unless I was practically sitting on his lap. He spent that half of year slipping into an abyss. I knew I would have to put him into a school, there was no suitable alternative. I tried to leave him with his Grama during the day, but she wasn’t terribly diligent at enforcing the curriculum.

After much research and many tours and interviews, we settled on a Christian school not too far from our town. Upon arrival, I informed each of his instructors that he had been home schooled, and that they should let me know if he seemed to be having any difficulty integrating into the schedule. By the time I showed up for conferences 8 weeks later, most of the teachers had entirely forgotten that I had mentioned he was home schooled. He assimilated very well into the social framework of his class and was able to contribute in his classes very well. I was applauded and congratulated for successfully socializing him in the absence of formal schooling.

He did very well as far as grades go. However, his regulated test scores were never more than average. He was never very good at taking tests; the pressure always upset his constitution. In the beginning of 9th grade, a friend asked permission to buy my son an X-Box for Christmas. I agreed under the condition that he maintains Bs or above. He got his semester report card 5 days before Christmas and he had 4 A’s and 2 B’s. He got his X-Box.

Then he fell in love with a girl, and all bets were off. His grades declined. His attention declined. He became very distant and moody. I became public enemy numeral uno. This went on for the next year and a half. It wasn’t until his unsuccessful courtship of this last girl that he finally snapped out of his distaste for me. We are slowly becoming friends again. He is starting to show signed of maturity. He is starting to make better decisions and looking forward toward a future and has decided that he DOES want to go to college and that maybe he should start doing something about it. He even joined the track team and intends to join the soccer team in the fall.

Now fast forward to last week. I got his 3rd marking period report card for 11th grade. There were 2 F’s and a D- on it. I was so desperate, I grounded him from everything. I took away his cell phone, his iPod and the keyboard to the computer. He isn’t allowed to take my car anywhere and he isn’t allowed to participate in any social functions save school athletic meets and games. I put my foot down. I told him that until he starts performing to his abilities, I’m not providing anything more than food, clothing, and shelter for him.

So, then the ACT scores come in. The national average is 21. The state average is 23. The kid with more F’s in the last two years than a Dutch phone book scored a 25. A 25!!! His closest chums that score straight A’s all got 27s and 28. He scored a 25 without even blinking! And he got very upset with me because I didn’t’ jump up and down and exclaim how utterly proud I am of him. I already knew he was brilliant; the score did not surprise me. I think it did surprise him, though. I think maybe all these years he didn’t really believe me that he was brilliant. Now maybe he will buckle down and get it together.

A mother can only hope!