The hour I spent in line at the polls yesterday has completely dispelled any doubts I may have had about the wisdom of the founding fathers in establishing the Electoral College. Not that I am in agreement with the direction with which they cast their votes, either, mind you. But I have come to realize that Joe Citizen is in no way, shape, or form, fit to be electing what to have for lunch, much less with electing the next leader of the free world.
Take Joe Ashtray, for example. He pulled up in the parking lot of the elementary school, tailed by soft tendrils and billowy plumes of smoke. As his truck neared, I realized that the smoke was not of mechanical nature, but rather the result of the operator’s personal habits. The smog smelled like a mix of legal and illegal tobacco products.
Joe not-so-gracefully stumbled from the cab of his red Ford pick-up truck, the rear windows of which were emblazoned with assorted stickers of the Rebel and “piss on Chevy” ilk, as empty pop bottles and fast food garbage came tumbling out around his feet. Most likely they were trying to escape the oxygen challenged environment they had been forced to share. After tossing a “hey baby” in my direction, Joe staggered past to the door of the “gymatorium” to play his part in making American History.
After a few minutes, Joe grumbled about having to stand in line for so long. He complained to the nice little old ladies that volunteer their time to this process sometimes 4 times a year. Accusingly he demanded that he should be allowed in the “other” line (there was only one line, but it snaked its way around the room, trying to accommodate the record turn out).
We had been in line for about 10 minutes when Joe excitedly pronounced to no one in particular that this was his first time voting. Sadly it was hard to gauge his age due to what can only be assumed was a lifetime of substance abuse, but if I had to wager, I’d say he was at least my age. That leaves at least 5 other presidential elections he didn’t bother to vote in. Even more sadly, most of his peers nodded in agreement.
Joe proclaimed that he was very excited to finally be able to vote to legalize marijuana! Several people around concurred. There were a few “yeah baby”s and a few “Amen to that brutha”s. And it dawned on me…these dolts are possibly only here because they believe proposal 1 is going to legalize marijuana!
There were several debates about who was more screwed up, Bush or Palin. Lots of people revealed their ignorance of the issues. Most had no idea that the election, at least in our precinct, included 3 proposals, and 26 separate elections, ranging from POTUS to city clerk and school board. Most didn’t realize that we get to vote for judges!
Hello? Don’t they still teach about the 3 branches of government in public school?
Oh, brutha!
I could go on, but suffice it to say…I’m moving to Canada…
