Okay, so, admittedly, it is probably not a good idea to give yourself a pedicure after 2 20 oz lemon drop martinis, but I've had a very haried weekend of parenting, and damn it, I deserve to have pretty feet!
So, I'm probably going to regret drunk posting tomorrow, but I'm so full of witty repartee and I have no one to dazzle with it! so you are getting 100% unadulterated Rager Raging tonight! Hope you deserve it!
Gah! I read a plaque somewhere that said raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree. I think the author was WAY too ambitious! Gah!
So, Wednesday we went to the school to adjust my beautiful, intelligent, well rounded son's schedule for his Sr. year in high school. He decided it would be a fabulous idea to skip a year of math since he already had the required 3 credits of math. This was our first of many arguments. Because he had Algebra II last year, his only choices were Pre-Calc or statistics. As statistics is not a college prep class, that one is not even on the table. The principle won't even consider it. And he's not even going to dignify Nik's idea of NOT taking a math class this year. Out of the question.
Next topic, he's taking Nik out of Honor's English (which was supposed to be AP English, but not enough kid's had the required GPA so they lowered it to Honor's) even though the previous principle allowed the acceptance of his application into the program. His reason: Nik FAILED 11th grade English. Not only that, but brace yourself...he failed summer school English. Why? because he never bothered to turn in his final Research Paper. The one that he never told his mother he was assigned! Gah!!!
So, once the principle realizes that this is the first I'm hearing of this assignment, he apologizes, and he and Nik discuss whether or not he should be allowed to make it up. The principle gives in, and tells Nik he has 24 hours to complete this 4 page paper and get it turned in so he can have a passing grade for the summer school class that cost me $350 on top of the $6500 tuition I had already paid for him to fail two of his classed for the year.
Then, because of scheduling conflicts, and because my child lives a charmed life, he's going to have to allow him to take Honor's English, on top of Honor's Chem II and Pre-Calc...buh-bye social life for his Senior year...cuz now I'm going to have to baby sit him every step of the way...
I'm going to glaze over the details of the emotional break down both of us suffered at this point. Some very close friends and family members know the details. For the rest of my viewing public, suffice it to say that I now understand why some animals eat their young. Nik suffered what I can only assume was a brief mental breakdown, caused himself some minor physical harm and tried to play it off as my fault. Typical. But I have NO FRIGGEN IDEA where to go from here. Do I check him in somewhere and put him even further behind this year, or do I try to get him past this and hope he learns to get thru the hard shit. (pardon my language, but some instances just call for the hard stuff!)
I opt for the latter. I strip him of all individualism, take away all his electronic devices, and set him to task getting all of his assignment done. (oh, I forgot to mention, he had 3 books on his required reading list for AP - now Honor's - English class that needed to be journaled, that he deceived me into believing he had done in Summer School English - lies! all lies!)
So, fast forward to Sunday night...he still has ZERO written and has just discovered that he no longer has the instructions for writing the journals and none of his friends are in answering their cell phones - holiday weekend and all. I've been slaving away doing ALL of his chores for the last 4 days to make sure he didn't have any external stresses so he would be able to focus 100% on these assignments...I come in at 8:30 pm, tired, hungry, filthy and exhausted and he wants to know what's for dinner?
I lost my mind! I blew! I let him have it! I screamed! I called him names! I threatened him with bodily harm!
I won't go into all the details, but 3 hours later and 2 very large, very generous lemon drop martinis later, he's finished writing what he needed and I've just completed my first drunk pedicure...which, by the way, I'm terrified to see what it will look like tomorrow! Friends should never let friends give themselves drunk pedicures!
Maybe I'll post pictures...lol
Gah! I'd better get a HOUSEful of grand children or I'm gonna be one pissed off old lady!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Party Success!
(A letter to my fellow weight watchers)
How I survived the graduation party...
It's been intensely stressful around the automotive plants in Michigan lately. What with everyone looking over their shoulder wondering who's going to be tapped and who's going to be left holding the bag. So it goes without saying that we need to be extra vigilant in preparing ourselves to resist the temptation of stress eating, especially in party situations. Our Weight Watchers leader gave our group a set of tools that will help us successfully watch our weight while on vacations and at large gatherings. I had the opportunity to put most of them to work this weekend.
Here's what happened:
I had a family graduation party. This particular aunt is Italian, so it goes without saying that there was ample opportunity to "mange". In addition, she has these two friends, sisters, also Italian, and they usually help cater her affairs. And man, can these ladies cook. So, I arrive at the party and walk into the garage just as they are setting up the food tables. They had sweet and sour meatballs, creamy chicken, pasta salad, mostaccioli with real freshly grated Parmesan, au graten potatoes, baked beans, sausage and sauerkraut, home made biscuits, as well as a large bowl of mixed fruit and several relish trays and veggie trays. The tables are covered in assorted munchies and dips. The dessert table is already covered with an assortment of mini cream puffs, some chocolate dipped, some white chocolate dipped and two HUGE trays covered in home made cupcakes, one tray frosted in chocolate with white chocolate drizzle, the other covered in white chocolate with chocolate drizzle. The smell of the frosting assaults you 5 feet from the table...mmmmmmm.
Well, knowing that I did not want to give myself the opportunity to fail, I prepared myself ahead of time. I did the exercise where you visualize the food, smell the food, taste the food. I made the decision that I would taste everything on the dinner table, but skip the bread, which I usually don't do, I LOVE bread! I did not want to get there and then feel short-handed by limiting myself to only a few items. I didn't want to feel left out or deprived. I sat down and figured out the points value of the foods I knew they were going to have. I went for a run in the morning to earn a few extra points in case there was something there I didn't figure into my points. I also armed myself against the possibility that I would graze the munchies by making myself a bowl of fresh hummus. I baked myself a bowl of low-fat, whole wheat pita pieces and utilized the veggie trays when the urge got the better of me.
When it came time to eat, I served myself one table spoon of each of the delectable offerings. I chewed slowly and purposefully and was quite full and satisfied. I made it a point to play with the kids most of the day. They kept me busy and active, so I wouldn't spend a lot of time lingering and revisiting the food tables. I only sat down long enough to eat, this way, I didn't put myself in danger of mindlessly dipping into the snack bowls. When they brought in the sheet cake and started cutting, I took a deep breath. I avoided the cake at a fellow employee's retirement party earlier in the week, but would I be able to resist this? I wasn't given the opportunity. Before I could say, "Hey, can you cut a few smaller slices?" I was handed a 1/4 pound chunk and a fork by an overzealous "helper". I decided that I had accumulated enough extra points that I could afford a few bites. One, two, three, four...Oh My God! How can I get myself out of this? Two year old, to the rescue!!! I looked up and there was Ava, my cousin's little girl. "Bite? Bite?" she beckoned. Oh, Thank, You, Jesus! I couldn't have snuck another bite in even if I had wanted one!
Later, when I felt a magnetic draw to the dessert table to sneak a cream puff, I was met with an empty plate! The Skinny God's where looking after me! The cupcakes were easier to resist...the little kids weren't replacing the plastic wrap properly, and the flies were having a feast, eww, yuck! Time for cocktails! Oh, Joy! Just as they were about to pour, the little ones came a beggin' rides on the four wheeler! Salvation! I hopped on and spent the next hour and a half obliging every kid there with a ride around the ranch. By the time I was done, the party was winding down, the sun was setting, it was time for good-byes. I rode home with the satisfying feeling that I had eaten everything I wanted.
Michele = 1
Battle of the Bulge = 0
How I survived the graduation party...
It's been intensely stressful around the automotive plants in Michigan lately. What with everyone looking over their shoulder wondering who's going to be tapped and who's going to be left holding the bag. So it goes without saying that we need to be extra vigilant in preparing ourselves to resist the temptation of stress eating, especially in party situations. Our Weight Watchers leader gave our group a set of tools that will help us successfully watch our weight while on vacations and at large gatherings. I had the opportunity to put most of them to work this weekend.
Here's what happened:
I had a family graduation party. This particular aunt is Italian, so it goes without saying that there was ample opportunity to "mange". In addition, she has these two friends, sisters, also Italian, and they usually help cater her affairs. And man, can these ladies cook. So, I arrive at the party and walk into the garage just as they are setting up the food tables. They had sweet and sour meatballs, creamy chicken, pasta salad, mostaccioli with real freshly grated Parmesan, au graten potatoes, baked beans, sausage and sauerkraut, home made biscuits, as well as a large bowl of mixed fruit and several relish trays and veggie trays. The tables are covered in assorted munchies and dips. The dessert table is already covered with an assortment of mini cream puffs, some chocolate dipped, some white chocolate dipped and two HUGE trays covered in home made cupcakes, one tray frosted in chocolate with white chocolate drizzle, the other covered in white chocolate with chocolate drizzle. The smell of the frosting assaults you 5 feet from the table...mmmmmmm.
Well, knowing that I did not want to give myself the opportunity to fail, I prepared myself ahead of time. I did the exercise where you visualize the food, smell the food, taste the food. I made the decision that I would taste everything on the dinner table, but skip the bread, which I usually don't do, I LOVE bread! I did not want to get there and then feel short-handed by limiting myself to only a few items. I didn't want to feel left out or deprived. I sat down and figured out the points value of the foods I knew they were going to have. I went for a run in the morning to earn a few extra points in case there was something there I didn't figure into my points. I also armed myself against the possibility that I would graze the munchies by making myself a bowl of fresh hummus. I baked myself a bowl of low-fat, whole wheat pita pieces and utilized the veggie trays when the urge got the better of me.
When it came time to eat, I served myself one table spoon of each of the delectable offerings. I chewed slowly and purposefully and was quite full and satisfied. I made it a point to play with the kids most of the day. They kept me busy and active, so I wouldn't spend a lot of time lingering and revisiting the food tables. I only sat down long enough to eat, this way, I didn't put myself in danger of mindlessly dipping into the snack bowls. When they brought in the sheet cake and started cutting, I took a deep breath. I avoided the cake at a fellow employee's retirement party earlier in the week, but would I be able to resist this? I wasn't given the opportunity. Before I could say, "Hey, can you cut a few smaller slices?" I was handed a 1/4 pound chunk and a fork by an overzealous "helper". I decided that I had accumulated enough extra points that I could afford a few bites. One, two, three, four...Oh My God! How can I get myself out of this? Two year old, to the rescue!!! I looked up and there was Ava, my cousin's little girl. "Bite? Bite?" she beckoned. Oh, Thank, You, Jesus! I couldn't have snuck another bite in even if I had wanted one!
Later, when I felt a magnetic draw to the dessert table to sneak a cream puff, I was met with an empty plate! The Skinny God's where looking after me! The cupcakes were easier to resist...the little kids weren't replacing the plastic wrap properly, and the flies were having a feast, eww, yuck! Time for cocktails! Oh, Joy! Just as they were about to pour, the little ones came a beggin' rides on the four wheeler! Salvation! I hopped on and spent the next hour and a half obliging every kid there with a ride around the ranch. By the time I was done, the party was winding down, the sun was setting, it was time for good-byes. I rode home with the satisfying feeling that I had eaten everything I wanted.
Michele = 1
Battle of the Bulge = 0
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