A coupla shitty days at the gym

So, a week ago Wed I finished my work out, gathered my shower stuff, and headed to the showers...Now, the showers at Fitness USA are, to put it mildly, generally a mess, so it didn't surprise me to find a crumpled up chunk of brown paper towel sitting on the drain. There have been numerous occasions when I've gone in there only to find orange peels, apple cores, empty shampoo bottles, etc. The women that work out at my gym come from all walks of life, some with less refined manners and culture than others. As much as it miffed me, it didn't surprise me.
So, I usually use the same shower stall as long as it's available. Anyone who knows me knows that I am extremely anal and very regimented. There are certain things, that for me, need to be done in a specific order. Showering is no exception. So after getting my toilet kit and towels properly hung up, adjusting the temp of the water and undonning my swim suit, I stepped into the shower and gently pushed the towel off the drain with the bottom of my flip-flop, so that it wouldn't clog the drain while I showered.

Only, it wasn't a paper towel. Yep, that's right. Someone shit in the shower! Not like a spray of diarrhea that surprised it's issuer. A solid, plum sized, chunk of feces! OMG! I almost vomited! I ran screaming and cursing from the shower, found the bottle of disinfectant and hosed my flip-flop and foot off! WTF? Who the frick craps in the shower and leaves it there? Who the frick craps in the shower? Indignantly, I moved my belongings and tried again...I had to try 3 different showers before I found one with just the right amount of pressure and temperature for my liking, and finished my shower.

When I got back to the locker room, I informed the poor, unfortunate 19 year old attendant that there was poop in the shower. There were several women in the area in assorted stages of dress. We all had quite the laugh speculating how someone could poop in the shower and just leave it. I informed her that this is why it is so important to get a college degree so she could find employment that would NEVER involve cleaning up another person's excrement.

She gathered all of her bio clean-up supplies and headed into the showers to clean it up. She came right back with an astonished look on her face, and announced for those of us in the area that some other poor, unfortunate patron was in the shower and didn't answer when she knocked. Minutes later, and elderly woman walked out and looked at all of us with this pathetic look on her face and announced that she just discovered poop in the stall where she had just completed her shower! The room erupted in earth shattering cackles and squeals as we all had a laugh at her expense.

Fast forward to Friday. I pull up in the gym parking lot and there's a sign on the door informing patrons that the pool is closed. This is not common, but certainly not unheard of. I get to my locker, start to change into my gear, and ask the attendant the reason for the pool closing. You'll never believe this...someone pooped in the pool! Like actually crapped, right there next to the steps! Like, WTF? So, now we have a serial pooper on the loose? I mean, I've seen a lot of disgusting things in my life, but someone is pooping all over the gym?

So, as I'm putting on the last of my gear and putting my bag up, one of the regular patrons that is usually finishing up as I'm getting started, comes and puts the finishing touches on her hair and make-up. She makes a comment about the pool being closed and I say something about how I can't believe someone is pooping all over the gym. She turns to me with this astonished look and inquires as to what I mean. So I give her a brief review of the excitement of Wed and she says, "Oh, well, I just found poop in another one of the showers." I asked if she told the attendant and she said no. So I turn and tell the attendant that the pooper struck again! The room erupted in even louder laughter than on Wed.

And that is my crappy story...